Before you read / this post is about an experience over the past few days. Understand that sometimes life isn’t all peachy and I wanted to write about it so you can see a different aspect, and to also allow myself the time to express. I find writing therapeutic a massive help with my emotional well being.
A Funk (and i’m not talking about the music genre)… commonly known as a rut. Or as I would describe it being in a very deep sand hole, trying to climb out but the sand keeps crumbling and you can’t catch a grip. Your exhausted from spending hours trying to get out so you think about giving up.. At that moment, when you’ve pushed yourself so far you’ve accepted you are going to be stuck in this funk forever; something changes. You know you can escape. Set your mind to it and start digging your self out of the hole. Work at an angle and work your way up. Step by step. Start to understand you will never be stuck forever. You are in control of your mind and body at all times. Switch your thoughts from ‘I cant‘ to ‘I can‘ and watch your world change.
FRIDAY – I have always made sure I’ve had enough time for myself to make sure I never really get in a funk. On Friday however, I was in a funk.. (a very deep deep hole). Not from anything in particular, just that I hadn’t given myself the time of day to relax, re-energise and re-focus. I am preparing for another big journey, and going through the process of some personal things. I have overextended myself and I feel I’m in a creative paralysis where I don’t feel like I can produce anything, and its frustrating. I needed a ‘Jaci’ day to say the least. I cancelled all plans, and went to my solace. The beach. I read, I wrote, I zoned out and I walked. I walked far. I didn’t take water (silly I know) and after a 5 hour walk along many beaches and headlands I was fried. I was burnt and exhausted so what did I do next? I layed down on my towel in the sun and fell asleep (again, silly idea).. I woke up after a few hours and crumbled home. I had a cold shower and layed on my bed. I had sunstroke to another level. The shakes, The sweats, and of course the up-reach of absolutely nothing except my stomach lining. I was up all night with this, and a very unsettling anxious feeling in my stomach. I didn’t take care for my body; not then, not that day. I didn’t feed it, I didn’t water it, I didn’t care for it. I didn’t care for anything that day. I left my belongings out in the open for hours as I walked far far away not caring if they got stolen. I didn’t want to contact anyone. I would well up on my walk for no apparent reason, I would stop because I felt I wasn’t breathing enough. It was a very eerie experience and because I didn’t care I just thought f**k it. I now realise maybe I had a moment of depression. And by no means am I depressed, those feelings though exampled a moment of it.
SATURDAY – I felt a bit better, Just trying to understand what happened. I was still a little frazzled. I had an experience I’ve never had. A niggling headache continued throughout my day until I went home from work and layed on my bed and reflected. I went and spent some time with my family which always makes me feel better. I had a good nutritious meal and a peaceful, uninterrupted sleep, and woke up feeling on top of this world.
SUNDAY – Today I feel great. I am out of my Funk! #happyjac is back.
I know my bodies limits, I’ve learnt and I’ve accepted that its okay to not always be okay. I realised I can’t build a roof without having the walls, or a solid foundation (my own analogy which I believe is relevant af to any situation). Taking life step by step and not overthinking or getting to far ahead of myself. I am in tune with my body and understand now; just breathe – its okay. Our bodies work hard to keep a chemical equilibrium at all times– but sometimes we need to consciously work on helping with that process. A chemical imbalance can (and will) absolutely affect our moods. So good sleep, nutrition and self care are not a panacea– they are critical in helping us regain emotional balance.
Day by day, bit by bit, accept the hiccups and move on. Its cool, we all have days like this. To whatever extent, its still a funk, small hole / big hole, we have them. Just remember your happiness and well being is paramount to a life with no regrets. Life is moving so fast, remember to embrace every feeling and emotion and know that it is connected to your path, your journey, your life! You can overcome anything with your mind in the right place, I guarantee you’ll find your way. Our feelings are there to help us understand and explore the situation better. Don’t let them run you over; allow them to guide you. It is helpful to write them down, which is why I am writing this post. Start with a feeling: “I feel disappointed” and then go further– “I feel disappointed about….” Go deeper again. Whatever the feeling, it is completely worth the time and energy to spend a little longer defining it more specifically. Remember that specifics are more manageable than vague feelings. Do not be afraid to identify whatever it is that you are angry, sad, scared, or frustrated about. These feelings are valid and need to be acknowledged before they can then be released..
If you’ve made it this far and I haven’t bored you. Thankyou. Thankyou for taking the time to read. You have just been inside my mind. A mind that never stops. I hope whoever has made it this far can take something away from it and apply it to their own experiences or life in general.
Now I better get my shit together (in a calm, organized way of course). I’m moving to Malta in 23 days hehe. I will be writing a post every Sunday while I’m on that journey in the sub-title you may have seen up the top called ‘The Yacht Series’. Ill divulge more soon enough. Just a little insight for making it this far on my ‘FUNK’ post.
ciao for now,